lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
