if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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