I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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