I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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