you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
my poor anus
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
