if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
