real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
