So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
