Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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