speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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