i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
