Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
