i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
