i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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