just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
