He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
