Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
