yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
