If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Send help, water and tortillas.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Bring me that man meat
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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