I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
