I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So vagazzling was a success
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
