i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
