did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize