Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just wanna soil my oats bro
im drinking this country out of the recession.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
