So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
