There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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