Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
