i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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