Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
