I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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