So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
