would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Bang-toberfest begins!!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
