Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
