I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
