Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize