I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
