i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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