Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
