Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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