yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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