census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
