theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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