He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
