I threw up into my coffee this morning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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