We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
