I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
