roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
