11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just cropdusted the office
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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