i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
