im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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