Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize