I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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