cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
no you cant smoke seaweed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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