Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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