Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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