Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
this beer tastes like vomit already
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
