hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Randomize
