just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
