We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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