The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
