Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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