I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
