We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
