i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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