i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
