in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
