i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
